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Elucidation 20.12.2019

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In a department where education and research are intermixed, I can continue to follow the path that towards scientific excellence. Long-mesmerized by hobbies like my work with the FIRST Robotics team, I believe State University would be the best choice to continue to nurture my love for electrical and computer engineering. I have only scratched the surface in this ever evolving field but know that the technological potential is limitless. Likewise, I feel that my time at State University would make my potential similarly limitless. This is a picture-perfect response to a university-specific essay prompt. What makes it particularly effective is not just its cohesive structure and elegant style but also the level of details the author uses in the response. By directly identifying the specific aspects of the university that are attractive to the writer, the writer is able to clearly and effectively show not only his commitment to his studies but — perhaps more importantly — the level of thought he put into his decision to apply. Review committees know what generic responses look like so specificity sells. College Essay Two Prompt: What motivates you? For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of science. Where others see the engineering, experimentation, and presentation of science as a chore, I only see excitement. Even as a child I constantly sought it out, first on television with Bill Nye and The Mythbusters, then later in person in every museum exhibit I could find. Science in all its forms fascinated me, but science projects in particular were a category all to themselves. To me, science projects were a special joy that only grew with time. In fact, it was this continued fascination for hands-on science that brought me years later to the sauna that is the University of Alabama in mid-June. Participating in the Student Science Training Program and working in their lab made me feel like a kid in a candy store. Just the thought of participating in a project at this level of scientific rigor made me forget that this was supposed to be my summer break and I spent the first day eagerly examining every piece of equipment. Even at first, when the whole research group sat there doing rote calculations and others felt like they were staring down the barrel of defeated purpose, I remained enthusiastic. Time and time again I reminded myself of that famous phrase "great effort leads to great rewards," and sure enough, soon my aspirations began to be met. This shift in attitude also coincided with a shift in location: from the computer desk to the laser lab. It was finally time to get my hands dirty. Now things began to get really interesting. During the experimentation phase of the project, I spent the majority of my waking hours in the lab — and I enjoyed every minute of it. From debriefing with my coordinator in the morning to checking and rechecking results well into the afternoon, I was on cloud nine all day, every day. I even loved the electric feeling of anxiety as I waited for the results. Most of all, though, I loved the pursuit of science itself. Before I knew it, I was well into the seventh week and had completed my first long-term research experiment. I am very excited by the idea of combining neuroscience with something like the effects of learning a classical language on developing brains. Many studies have shown the plethora of positive effects of being bilingual, but not much research has been done on classical languages. I have been studying Latin for over seven years, and I have experienced firsthand the positive effects. This is the program I would create for my college scholars project. Cornell is also the only university I am interested in that offers a speaking course in Latin: Conversational Latin. For the past six years, I have rarely had to translate more than a few sentences at a time from English to Latin, never truly experiencing the unique grammatical features of Latin, such as intricate word play by Catullus in his Odes, that drew me so much to this language. I would love to supplement my knowledge by being able to formulate my thoughts in Latin and actively immerse myself in the language. I am really excited about learning the language as it was meant to be learned, as well as the new perspective it will provide me on Latin rhetorical artifacts. As a kid who loves inventing, enjoys interactive learning, and wants to speak a dead language, I know Cornell is where I want to be. I wonder if my roommate will mind if I bring my EEG? How this essay is similar to the first approach: He begins with a short intro and solid thesis; both work well. He weaves back and forth between what he wants and what the school offers. What sets this essay apart: The four examples that name how the school is unique give us a really clear sense of how Cornell is a great fit for this student. Word limit: Reflecting on your own interests and experiences, please comment on one of the following: 1. Intellectual engagement 2. The Common Good 3. Connection to place On the first dawn of the summer, I found myself in a familiar place: sitting awkwardly in the back of a crowded bus full of rowdy twelve year olds. Using the river as a natural learning laboratory, I taught them about pollution and industrialization, urban design and remediation strategies. That summer, through my work in environmental education, I discovered the power of place. I realized that in a changing world, places really are the best storytellers. I find myself doing the very thing I was teaching: investigating the rich stories behind a place. Why does this essay work? But want to know the main thing that sets this essay apart? Instead, the author found one really good reason: Both he and Bowdoin are deeply committed to investigating place. This focus was particularly apropos for this student, as he planned to major in Environmental Science. Because he used a value as the central theme, this essay is primarily about the author. This works because he stays connected to the central themes, which are nature and storytelling. So we relax. How can you write an essay like this? Find a way in which you and the school are deeply aligned. And it may be easier to do this with a smaller liberal arts school like Bowdoin that has a particular character. Take your time crafting the essay. What do I mean? In other words: this essay would be much less awesome if it were much less beautiful. What do I mean by beautiful? Read it aloud. How do you get to this point? This approach takes time. I believe this is the type of essay that, particularly at a small liberal arts college, can truly make a difference. I have only anecdotal evidence--stories from a few admissions officers--to prove it, but in some cases I believe essays like this have tipped the scales in favor of a particular student. Find a way to be vulnerable. This part is perhaps the most difficult, but most crucial. That quality is vulnerability. How does the Bowdoin essay above show vulnerability? He lets his geekiness show. He does this by writing about what he loves without apology. ScoobyDoMyEssay assists in all such situations, and besides listening to your needs and performing all your essay writing requirements, you get numerous additional benefits from working with us. Thus, contacting us for essay writing assistance is a wise decision guaranteeing you a high grade, timely submission of the essay to the supervisor, and absence of pressure and stress. Make your studies enjoyable again with ScoobyDoMyEssay! You want to portray yourself a promising young adult, about to start making the first steps toward independence and adulthood; this involves creating a persona for yourself wherein you are disciplined, eager for challenges, proven in your abilities, etc. Second, be careful not to swing in the other direction and become overly grandiose. AVOID vague, overly ambitious and naive descriptions of your goals or your accomplishments. You are neither a grandiose giant nor a silly baby, so don't portray yourself as one! DON'T tell the reader what they already know about you. Instead, tell them what they should know about you. Respond to the question at hand and let them know why you matter, what kind of a difference you will make, that you can reflect on your life and who you are as a person and that you know how to use that understanding to make progress towards your goals and dreams. Before you start writing, DO look at what the question is asking for and prepare yourself to respond appropriately. When you are thinking about your answer, ask yourself repeatedly if you are answering what the question is asking for. Nobody is going to learn anything of value from you if you fill your essay with complaints, excuses and self-loathing. One thing you absolutely should DO is read your essay out loud to yourself. Why do this? To see if your voice and your personality are really on that piece of paper. Are you in that essay or does it just sound like it could be anyone else? Barak Rosenbloom College essay mentor, guide and editor essaymentors. Writing a great essay is a long process, don't try to do it all at once. Read the prompt or question, and respond to it. They want to learn about you. College admissions officers can sniff this out in a second. More importantly, is that how you want to live your life? Reveal who you are through your story. That happens when you talk about how you act, respond, think and feel against the backdrop of your topic. The people reading your essays have been through emotional and challenging experiences of their own. If you have a meaningful or memorable story to tell, tell it. Your job as a camp counselor, your experience on the swim team, or your favorite book are just backdrops for writing about yourself. Have compassion for them. Do the first six to twelve words make the reader want to read this? Once you have them, keep them. Remember that this is a story about you, not an academic essay. Find someone to support you at each stage of the process.

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  • Why This College Essay Guide + Examples
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  • What are some do's and don'ts for the admissions essay? | Unigo
  • How to Write a Perfect "Why This College" Essay

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Once you have them, keep them. Remember that this is a story about you, not an academic essay. Find someone to support you at each stage of the process. Having a mentor or guide who understands the writing process is invaluable. Give yourself lots of time. This is a lot harder than writing about the War of Keep at it until you love your essay and are proud of it. Read it out loud, or better yet record it and play it back. Does it sound like your voice? What kind of person is in the story, and do you like that person? Ask others the same questions. On my college essay I fudged on a little detail that I thought would make me look better. I wish I had written an essay I could have been proud of. Eileen Ed. Associate Director Educational Directions, Inc. What are some do's and don'ts for the admissions essay? Do: write your essay Don't: have someone else write it for you. Do: write about a topic of interest or special appeal to YOU. Don't: write what you think "they" want to hear. Do: be honest. Don't: be overly "clever". In short, make sure your ideas are your own. This is a personal essay. Stay on topic and don't get sidetracked by too many ideas. That pride has confirmed and reinvigorated my love for science. I felt more alive, more engaged, in that lab than I have anywhere else, and I am committed to returning. I have always dreamed of science but since that summer, since my experiment, I have dreamed only of the future. To me, medical science is the future and through it I seek another, permanent, opportunity to follow my passion. After all, to follow your passion is, literally, a dream come true. In addition to its use of clear, demonstrative language, there is one thing that makes this an effective essay: focus. Indeed, notice that, although the question is broad, the answer is narrow. This is crucial. It can be easy to wax poetic on a topic and, in the process, take on too much. This emphasis gives the reader the opportunity to learn who the writer is on his terms and makes it a truly compelling application essay. Find your school with our USA School Search College Essay Three The winter of my seventh grade year, my alcoholic mother entered a psychiatric unit for an attempted suicide. Mom survived, but I would never forget visiting her at the ward or the complete confusion I felt about her attempt to end her life. Today I realize that this experience greatly influenced my professional ambition as well as my personal identity. While early on my professional ambitions were aimed towards the mental health field, later experiences have redirected me towards a career in academia. I come from a small, economically depressed town in Northern Wisconson. Many people in this former mining town do not graduate high school and for them college is an idealistic concept, not a reality. Neither of my parents attended college. Feelings of being trapped in a stagnant environment permeated my mind, and yet I knew I had to graduate high school; I had to get out. Although most of my friends and family did not understand my ambitions, I knew I wanted to make a difference and used their doubt as motivation to press through. Four days after I graduated high school, I joined the U. The 4 years I spent in the Army cultivated a deep-seated passion for serving society. You can rest assured that your assignment is in the good hands, be it Math or Computer Science, Political Science or History. We constantly increase the range of disciplines covered by our writing experts by hiring the best talents in each field. There is nothing impossible for our staff. Affordable prices. We are not the cheapest company, but our prices are comparatively cheap, so every average student can afford our services. Formatting standards. We will consider all your inquiries and requirements of yours. You just need to provide some writing details: what kind of paper you need, its volume, deadline, type of writer you want and your expectations will be fully met. Very often it happens that students postpone the paper writing. Having only a few days till the due date, they start working on a diploma or dissertation papers. There is no need to postpone it, just address OnlineCollegeEssay. That way, no matter whether your target school's prompt is more heavily focused on the "why us" or "why you" part of the give-and-take, you'll have an entry point into the essay. But what should these three to five things be? What should you keep in mind when you're looking for the gem that will become your topic? Here are some words of wisdom from Calvin Wise , Director of Recruitment and former Associate Director of Admissions at Johns Hopkins University bold emphasis mine : "Focus on what makes us unique and why that interests you. Do your research, and articulate a multi-dimensional connection to the specific college or university. We do not want broad statements the brick pathways and historic buildings are beautiful or a rehash of the information on our website College X offers a strong liberal arts curriculum. All institutions have similarities. We want you to talk about our differences. Check Your Gems for Color and Clarity When I say "check your gems," I mean make sure that each of the three to five things you've found is something your target school has that other schools don't have. This something should be seen from your own perspective. The point isn't to generically praise the school but instead to go into detail about why it's so great for you that they have this thing. This something you find should be meaningful to the school and specific to you. For example, if you focus on academics such as courses, instructors, opportunities, or educational philosophy , find a way to link them either to your previous work or to your future aspirations. This something should not be shallow and non-specific. Want to live in a city? Every city has more than one college in it. Find a way to explain why this specific college in this specific city calls to you. Like pretty architecture? Many schools are beautiful, so dwell on why this particular place feels unlike any other. Like good weather, beach, skiing, or some other geographical attribute? There are many schools located near these places, and they know that people enjoy sunbathing. Either build a deeper connection or skip these as reasons. Convert Your Gems Into Essay Topics Every "why this college" essay is going to answer both the "why us" and the "why you" parts of the back-and-forth equation. But depending on which way your target school has worded its prompt, you'll lean more heavily on that part. This is why I'm going to split this brainstorming into two parts—to go with the "why us" and "why you" types of questions. Of course, since they are both sides of the same coin, you can always easily flip each of these ideas around in order to have it work well for the other type of prompt. For example, a "why us" essay might talk about how interesting the XYZ interdisciplinary project is and how it fits well with your senior project. By contrast, a "why you" essay would take the same idea but flip it to say that you've learned through your senior project how you deeply value an interdisciplinary approach to academics, making you a great fit for this school and its commitment to such work, as evidenced by project XYZ. Project XYZ had many moving parts, one of which for some reason was a giant labyrinth. The school's interesting approach to your future major if you know what that will be or a major that combines several disciplines that appeal to you and fit with your current academic work and interests. How the school handles financial aid and the infrastructure setup for low-income students, and what that means for you in terms of opening doors. A story about how you became interested in the school if you learned about it in an interesting way. Did it host a high school contest you took part in? Feature a visual or performing art that you enjoyed and that you also do? How you overcame an initial disinterest in the school be sure to minimize this first negative impression. Did you do more research? Interact with someone on campus? Learn about the school's commitment to the community? Learn about interesting research being done there? A positive interaction you had with current students, faculty, or staff, as long as this is more than just, "Everyone I met was really nice. Was there a super passionate tour guide? Any information that surprised you? Did something happen to transform your idea about the school or campus life in a good way? The history of the school—but only if it's meaningful to you in some way. Was it founded by someone you admire? Did it take an unpopular but, to you, morally correct stance at some crucial moment in history? An amazing professor you can't wait to learn from. Is there a chemistry professor whose current research meshes with a science fair project you did? A professor whose book on economics finally made you understand the most recent financial crisis? A class that sounds fascinating, especially if it's in a field you want to major in. Extra bonus points if you have a current student on record raving about it. A facility or piece of equipment you can't wait to work in or with, and that doesn't exist in many other places. Is there a specialty library with rare medieval manuscripts? Is there an observatory? A fleet of boats? A required curriculum that appeals to you because it provides a solid grounding in the classics, shakes up the traditional canon, connects all the students on campus in one intellectual project, or is taught in a unique way.

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The clear thesis that provides a path for the essay. First, I'll talk about the prep work you'll need to do. On top of its growing cultural and ethnic diversity, State University is becoming a master at creating a niche for every student. While at UPenn, I noticed that many youth from surrounding neighborhoods grow up with difficult socioeconomic circumstances, and I hope to empower women of color from these neighborhoods as I study how race and gender impact economic opportunity. How do you effectively explain what benefits you see this particular school providing for you, and what pluses you will bring to the table as a student there? Write about integrating life on campus with events in the surrounding community.

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Instead, it is the seamless interaction between facilities that allows each department, from engineering to programming, to create a real learning environment that profoundly mimics the real world. Does it have a vegan, organic, and cruelty-free cafeteria? Mom survived, but I would never forget visiting her at the ward or the complete confusion I felt about her attempt to end her life. In other words: this essay would be much less awesome if it were much less beautiful. James doesn't just list things Tufts offers but also explains which of them are of specific value to him. My military commitment ends this July and will no longer complicate my academic pursuits. But how do you make the school feel really special? Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. At least once you'll most likely forget to change the school name or some other telling detail.

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Eileen Ed. As a person drawn to audio and visual storytelling, my life has been defined by listening. Lots of opportunities to contribute to the community surrounding the school? Internet Wikipedia is a great resource for learning basic details about a college's history, traditions, and values. You will also have the opportunity to continue your work with the Red Cross, giving back to the Baltimore community by joining the JHU and the Chesapeake Regional chapters.