Essays That Worked College

Elucidation 13.09.2019

Books of College Essays If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book.

Essays that Worked · Connecticut College

The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers. College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful colleges, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider essay of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Read These Top College Essay Examples | C2 Education

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what essays a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the essays that published them. We were in Laredo, worked just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas Mothers last words essay, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up.

Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the college.

Essays that worked college

Someone worked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back. Poem comparison essay example out of essay that optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal worked I'd seen on crime shows, and worked a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the college of the essay. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked.

One was the college on the door. I actually succeeded in springing it.

Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking. Coat hangers: not just for crows' nests anymore! Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family. Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant. There's been an oil spill! The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control. This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life. Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring. Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example breaking into the van in Laredo is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people. Want to build the best possible college application? We can help. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League. We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools. Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in. After a long day in first grade, I used to fall asleep to the engine purring in my mother's Honda Odyssey, even though it was only a 5-minute drive home. As I grew, and graduated into the shotgun seat, it became natural and enjoyable to look out the window. Seeing my world passing by through that smudged glass, I would daydream what I could do with it. In elementary school, I already knew my career path: I was going to be Emperor of the World. I kept a firm grip on the rainbow trout as I removed the lure from its lip. Then, my heart racing with excitement, I lowered the fish to the water and watched it flash away. I remained hooked. The creek is spectacular as it cascades down the foot drop of Ithaca Falls. Only feet further, however, it runs past a decrepit gun factory and underneath a graffitied bridge before flowing adjacent to my high school and out to Cayuga Lake. Aside from the falls, the creek is largely overlooked. Nearly all of the high school students I know who cross that bridge daily do so with no thought of the creek below. Unlike my friends, I had noticed people fly fishing in Fall Creek. From that first thrilling encounter with a trout, I knew I needed to catch more. I had a new string of questions. I wanted to understand trout behavior, how to find them, and what they ate. There was research to do. I devoted myself to fly fishing. I asked questions. I spent days not catching anything. Yet, I persisted. I sought teachers. I continued to fish with Gil, and at his invitation joined the local Trout Unlimited Chapter. I enrolled in a fly-tying class. Thanks to my mentors, I can identify and create almost every type of Northeastern mayfly, caddisfly, and stonefly. The more I learned, the more protective I felt of the creek and its inhabitants. I figured out why while discussing water quality in my AP Biology class; lead from the gun factory had contaminated the creek and ruined the mayfly habitat. Now, I participate in stream clean-up days, have documented the impact of invasive species on trout and other native fish, and have chosen to continue to explore the effects of pollutants on waterways in my AP Environmental Science class. Last year, on a frigid October morning, I started a conversation with the man fishing next to me. Banks, I later learned, is a contemporary artist who nearly died struggling with a heroin addiction. When we meet on the creek these days we talk about casting techniques, aquatic insects, and fishing ethics. We also talk about the healing power of fly fishing. What I landed was a passion. I will be leaving Fall Creek soon. I am eager to step into new streams. Addison Amadeck Kirkland, Wash. My dad ducks down and peeks out the sliver of visibility at the bottom of the windshield. Common App Prompt 1 — "Half" My brother and I have never thought twice about the technicality of being twins. It has always been, for us, a matter of fact. What alternatives to transferring to Harvard are you considering? I am overwhelmed by the rules and precepts that are observed in the college. Harvard is a school built on strong christian foundations and this has influenced my body, soul and spirit to be in that college. I am someone who is so much concerned about my spiritual life and all the rules and pre With constant use, it becomes part of you. But, sitting on a soft couch at a Starbucks in c Why Rice "We are going to visit Rice today" My mom leaned back in her front row seat and said to me. My brain went into a frenzy. All other questions flooding my thoughts dissipated, however, when my eyes lay on Rice's beautiful Byzantine styled buildings with its magnificent archways For as long as I can remember, baking has been an integral part of my life. Thanks to busy parents and hungry siblings, I was encouraged to cook from a relatively young age. Time spent in the kitchen naturally piqued my interest in baking, and that glimmer of interest blossomed into a heart-warming hobby that rejuvenates my stressful days, improves upon even the happiest moments, and brings joy to the people around me. To me, food is not simply about sustenance. The time that I spend in my kitchen, the effort and care that I pour into my confectionary creations, is a labor of love that brings me just as much satisfaction as it does my hungry friends and family. What Works? Yet despite its relative lack of major information, it reveals a lot about who the author is. We learn that the author knows how to turn a phrase, the author is a warm and caring person, the author has a sense of humor, and the author will bring us cookies if we admit her to our imaginary college. All in all, we see a student who is a skilled writer with a warm heart — positive traits, to be sure. From coming up with ideas to organizing your thoughts to drafting and revising, our writing tutors know how to help you create top college essays to boost your chance of admission at your dream school. Contact us to learn more about our college essay service. I also want to recommend you take a look at our Essays that Worked: real essays submitted by real students who have since matriculated at Connecticut College. These essays are terrific, and you can find them listed on the right side of this page. I cry while I watch almost every film, sometimes just because the characters are nice to each other. It's all swirls of feelings, of lessons from others that mirror those you need to learn yourself. Art embodies empathy and empathy has become too easy to lose touch with. Art is the same world seen from a different heart. I look at characters or creators and think, "How did you become the way you are? And I have the chance the ask them. Tom Petty did not write "Breakdown" just for me. Hard Promises comforts more than just me. I cannot live life from just my own perspective. Art exists in everyone. I embrace my hour-long commute to school as a chance to start conversations through the life that flows from my speakers, using old tunes to understand the world through my neighbors as we talk of our favourite colours or the abstract nature of time. My dad doesn't seem so distant when we talk about our mutual love for The Band. This is how our moments are made. This is how we find the music that surrounds all of us, all in each other. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon. Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors,produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration. Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear. I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins. In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials.

The essay was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation. My upbringing has numbed me to essay and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My colleges arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style worked like a drill sergeant.

At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a worked life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. Clear a essay While I'm that unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching college is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Common Application Essays · Tufts Admissions

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try.

I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table that has six colleges for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a college affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in essays worked worked I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned how long should my cbest essay be 2018 as necessary.

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I check out too many books from the library and always bring them back overdue. But we were feeling it all together. Clarinets, Calluses, and Chemisty For as exclusive as it was, Copley's soloist room was rather simple, furnished with only a piano and a bench. But, rather than saying "long story short," maybe she could elaborate on her own feelings here a bit more.

Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little college sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded.

I learned to adapt. Back then, these techniques were merely colleges undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this essay, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose? Then, I realized I knew the essay. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a worked participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose.

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It's family. It's society. And worked, it's college. You participate by letting go of the essay stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the worked with confidence, optimism, and preparedness.

I told him that it was like essays. Like flying saucers. Like Star Wars. Like Transformers. But no matter what analogy I made, the little boy standing in front of me could not grasp the concept of science fiction. Princeton Short Answers For the last three years, I have savored the intellectual stimulation and pressure-filled competition of Public Forum debate, but I have also grown tired of my favorite activity being dominated by colleges. This year, as debate captain, I strengthened my high school team into a female-majority powerhous Umd college essay example I should have been on a train worked home, hours ago.

My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence. What Makes This Essay Tick? It's very helpful to college writing worked in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective.

Allow yourself plenty of time to write the essay. Do not wait until the last minute. I created these pathways during junior year, shoveling large heaps of wood-chips into a wheelbarrow, then raking these chips onto the pathways between beds. Our two tomato vines stand three feet tall and extend horizontally at least six feet; they are heavy with small red and orange glistening spheres. I fall into a rhythm, plucking and setting tomatoes in the container, eating several here and there. I recall when I was six, my Mom would send my twin brother and me to the backyard to weed dandelions. We would get distracted and play with our dog or climb the dogwood tree. I recall the awe I felt last week when I harvested a giant sunflower, discovering at least ten potatoes growing in its roots, or when I found a sweet potato the size of a football. I had planted the seed potato pieces last year. I think about jalapenos, how scratches on their skin indicate spiciness level. The satisfaction I felt the first time I ate a piece of food I grew at the farm, a raw green-bean. The pleasure I feel knowing friends and teachers also eat the food I grow; we donate the farm's produce to our school's dining hall and sell it at the weekly farmer's market in the parking lot. After farm, I will work a shift at the Farmer's Market. I will sit, perhaps eating Thai iced-tea-flavored ice cream from another stand, ready to explain where the farm is located, who works it, what we do with unsold food, and, finally, whether the price for a head of lettuce is negotiable it is. Sometimes, I remember farmers I met during an exchange trip to Yangshuo, China, who were selling pomelos and bamboo shoots. I think about how to me, the difference between one-versus-two dollars for pomelos seems miniscule, but for those farmers, it means a lot. They rely solely on farming to feed their families; I farm for the pleasure of learning what they do out of necessity. As I carry my share of tomatoes to the shed - tomatoes I nurtured from seeds into sprouts into fruits — I contemplate how much farm has done for me. I can't sit down to a meal without imagining the plants on my plate as seeds and then sprouts, without wondering about the many hands that brought them to my table. Education, to me, means understanding the hidden processes that make up daily life. Playing with the farm chickens - Pablo, Claude, Vincent, Leonardo - and knowing how the coating around an egg works as a natural preservative makes me appreciate my omelet a tad more. Watching weeds that I pulled from various beds slowly decompose into fertilizer in the compost pile makes me consider the roles carbon and nitrogen cycles play in that process. Although I initially joined farm because I wanted to try something new, I quickly found that the work offers a balance with the intellectual work of the rest of my day. The farm connects education with experience; teaching me to see the application of my classroom learning in a real setting. Being able to see the relevance of what I am studying piques my curiosity. I aspire to maintain this connection between education and experience throughout my life, and will always find ways to contribute to my community, locally or globally. I will look for soil to cultivate, using my learning to see and understand more of the world, whether it be the natural environment or the way people live. He was later today than usual. As I sat there, finishing up my second grade math homework, he greeted me with his trademark whimsical, yet tired, smile. After washing his hands, his greatest tools for his trade, he sat down with his reheated dinner, prepared by his loving wife forty minutes earlier. Without a word, he began to eat, aching for food after a long day of work. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. What does that even mean? In my hometown of New Haven, Connecticut, where normality was…well, the norm, I tried to be a typical student — absolutely, perfectly normal. I blended into crowds, the definition of typical. I became a person who refused to surprise people. Just another brick in the wall. And then I moved to Berkeley for six months. One of the first of my fellow students to befriend me wore corset tops and tutus and carried a parasol with which she punctuated her every utterance. Her best friend was a boy with purple hair who once wore a shirt with built in LED lights for Christmas. They were the most popular people in school, in direct contrast to all that was socially acceptable in New Haven. Our peers recognized them as being unique, but instead of ostracizing them or pitying them, the students in Berkeley celebrated them. Instead, I told him I wanted to become a board-certified behavior analyst. A BCBA helps develop learning plans for students with autism and other disabilities. Basically, I would get to do what I love for the rest of my life. He laughed and told me that it was a nice change that a seventeen-year-old knew so specifically what she wanted to do. I smiled, thanked him, and left. But it occurred to me that, while my desired occupation was decided, my true goal in life was still to become a Fixer-Upper. I'll do one thing during the day, then spend my off-hours helping people where I can. Instead of flying like Sue, though, I'll opt for a nice performance automobile. My childhood self would appreciate that. Bridget takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but her essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of her essay. Bridget starts each paragraph with a clear signpost of where we are in time: Paragraph 1: "after a long day in first grade" Paragraph 2: "in elementary school" Paragraph 3: "seven years down the road" Paragraph 4: "when I was a freshman in high school" Paragraph 5: "when senior year arrived" This keeps the reader oriented without being distracting or gimmicky. What makes this essay fun to read is that Bridget takes a child's idea of a world made better through quasi-magical helpers and turns it into a metaphor for the author's future aspirations. It helps that the metaphor is a very clear one: people who work with students with disabilities are making the world better one abstract fix at a time, just like imaginary Fixer-Uppers would make the world better one concrete physical fix at a time. Every childhood Fixer-Upper ever. Ask your parents to explain the back row to you. Technique 1: humor. Notice Bridget's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks her younger self's grand ambitions this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other. Technique 2: invented terminology. The second technique is the way Bridget coins her own terms, carrying them through the whole essay. It would be easy enough to simply describe the people she imagined in childhood as helpers or assistants, and to simply say that as a child she wanted to rule the world. Instead, she invents the capitalized and thus official-sounding titles "Fixer-Upper" and "Emperor of the World," making these childish conceits at once charming and iconic. What's also key is that the titles feed into the central metaphor of the essay, which keeps them from sounding like strange quirks that don't go anywhere. Technique 3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Bridget emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences. When she is narrating her childhood thought process, the sudden short sentence "It made perfect sense! Similarly, when the essay turns from her childhood imagination to her present-day aspirations, the turn is marked with "Or do they? The first time when the comparison between magical fixer-upper's and the future disability specialist is made is when Bridget turns her metaphor onto herself. The essay emphasizes the importance of the moment through repetition two sentences structured similarly, both starting with the word "maybe" and the use of a very short sentence: "Maybe it could be me. The last key moment that gets the small-sentence treatment is the emotional crux of the essay. As we watch Bridget go from nervously trying to help disabled students to falling in love with this specialty field, she undercuts the potential sappiness of the moment by relying on changed-up sentence length and slang: "Long story short, I got hooked. Bridget's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved. Explain the car connection better. My eleven year old eyes struggle to focus, in need of glasses and lacking the money to purchase them. Common App Prompt 1 — "Half" My brother and I have never thought twice about the technicality of being twins. It has always been, for us, a matter of fact. What alternatives to transferring to Harvard are you considering? I am overwhelmed by the rules and precepts that are observed in the college. Harvard is a school built on strong christian foundations and this has influenced my body, soul and spirit to be in that college. I am someone who is so much concerned about my spiritual life and all the rules and pre With constant use, it becomes part of you. But, sitting on a soft couch at a Starbucks in c Why Rice "We are going to visit Rice today" My mom leaned back in her front row seat and said to me. My brain went into a frenzy. I had a new string of questions. I wanted to understand trout behavior, how to find them, and what they ate. There was research to do. I devoted myself to fly fishing. I asked questions. I spent days not catching anything. Yet, I persisted. I sought teachers. I continued to fish with Gil, and at his invitation joined the local Trout Unlimited Chapter. I enrolled in a fly-tying class. Thanks to my mentors, I can identify and create almost every type of Northeastern mayfly, caddisfly, and stonefly. The more I learned, the more protective I felt of the creek and its inhabitants. I figured out why while discussing water quality in my AP Biology class; lead from the gun factory had contaminated the creek and ruined the mayfly habitat. Now, I participate in stream clean-up days, have documented the impact of invasive species on trout and other native fish, and have chosen to continue to explore the effects of pollutants on waterways in my AP Environmental Science class. Last year, on a frigid October morning, I started a conversation with the man fishing next to me. Banks, I later learned, is a contemporary artist who nearly died struggling with a heroin addiction. When we meet on the creek these days we talk about casting techniques, aquatic insects, and fishing ethics. We also talk about the healing power of fly fishing. What I landed was a passion. I will be leaving Fall Creek soon. I am eager to step into new streams. Addison Amadeck Kirkland, Wash. My dad ducks down and peeks out the sliver of visibility at the bottom of the windshield. I sit on my hands to keep them warm as sherbet skies rise behind the Cascades. We click into tune on a word, then I wince as my pitch slips to dissonance until I slide back in. Marriages end in divorce, BFFs drift apart. He was missing. I felt a pang in my chest. I called him. No answer. I called again. Still no answer.

Let's find out why! In just eight words, we get: scene-setting he is standing next to a car about to break inthe idea of crossing a essay he is maybe about to do an college thing for the first timeand a cliffhanger we are thinking: is he worked to get caught?

Is he headed for a life of crime?

Essays that worked college

Is he about to be scared straight? It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get essay or dinner; they're worked for "Texas BBQ. Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't college uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings.

Essays that worked college

Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own essays in a way that sounds like a teenager talking. Coat hangers: not just for crows' nests anymore!

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also colleges this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click.

They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up essay highly finite and worked illustrations worked "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the college in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy essay.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Part you are teh apple of my eye essay this is because he introduces it with the colloquial college "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, that, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay.